*If you want to miss my entirely irrelevant but obvz totally justified rant and actually read about the collection skip to the first sentence of paragraph three, or maybs just straight to the last paragraph. You'd be amazed how many tangents I can go off on.
I really want to be able to dismiss our Stella as being a product of her father's success. YOU’RE THE DAUGHTER OF A MAN WITH GOD-LIKE STATUS, YOUR BEZZIE’S KATE MOSS AND YOUR CHILDREN HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO SURVIVE TO AGES SEVEN AND THREE REPSECTIVELY WITH THE NAMES BAILEY LINDA OLWYN AND REILEY DILYS STELLA, IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? You gotta have a career too? Stella why couldn’t you have just been a socialite? Seems it’s great to hate on Paris Hilton but the offspring of rock-royalty can’t be touched. They’re born, silver cooking-up spoon in mouth, surrounded by a protective halo and spawned from the copulation of prestigious music talent and otherworldly supermodel aesthetics that has somehow powered its way through the chemical condom of drug addiction and eating disorders. Who can hate Georgia Jagger when she battled though Mick's raisin bod to be here? Plus she looks like that in those Hudson ads… We should be grateful for her. My model obsession is out of control, eclipsed only (and my access to them hindered) by my love for McDonald’s.
So Stella, I love this collection. As always, you've given us a new shape - in the drop waisted gowns, minidresses and playsuits - that's suddenly as necessary in my life as Canesten (overshare?). Of course I'm ignoring, as I hope everyone will, the trinket covered dresses that only Lulu Guiness could get away with releasing. As bags. Is there a collab happening I don't know about? No one, but NO ONE, except Rita Ora if Cara told her it was cool, wants to wear the contents of their hangbags pinned to their $1430 Stella McCartney dress. Kate, if you wear this I will lose the last shred of respect I have for you after you sacked off my teenage love the bambi-eyed Peter Doherty and married that teddy bear Jamie Hince who a) loves his bandmate Alison Mosshart more than you, Kate Moss should be second to no one, and b) reminds me of that Narwhale in Elf who pops outta the sea as Buddy leaves the North Pole, 'bye Buddy, I hope you find your daaaad.' Probs because Mr Hince decided to get married dressed as him. Kate has both found her dad and married him. But the memory of those PVC trousers she did the favour of wearing to Glasto 2007 with Peter, as part of the last beautiful rock and roll couple (IMAGINE THE CHILDREN), means the respect's still there. It does increase every year we go without hearing her speak. 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' eh Kate? Except everything.
Soz Stella has there ever been an article written that doesn't mention your bezzie or your Pa? Don't complain they got you where you are. YO' BEZZIE, YO' PA, THEY GOTCHU WHERE YOU ARE, YO' BEZZIE, YO' PA, THEY GOTCHU WHERE YOU ARE. Your daddy's name and your best friend's endorsement may have set you on your way but, as much as we without the saintlike daddy who want to be in the industry hate to admit it, your talent holds you there at the top.
So what we've got here is enough snakeskin PRINT (it's Stella guys, she hearts animals) on bomber jackets and suits to make Kanye squeal. There's a black jumpsuit that Stella's designed for herself, she's already wearing it in the lookbook. Hey that's her prerogative having her own company. The blush pink minidress against the model's black bob make me want to dye my hair and wear it. Always a good sign, my hair senses trends before my brain or bod. This must be why it's falling out in handfuls at the mo; good job folliCOOLs, gwan guys sacrifice yourself and be born again in Stella McCartney. The finale black gown is fantastically cut, drop waisted and minimal. I don't want Stella's BFF, hey gown you can be my black Kate Moss tonight.
Bow in the presence of greatness.
ALL PHOTOS: STYLE.COM
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