Resort 2014: Divya R

The collection was Lana Del Rey inspired. Course it bloody was, I've been perving on Divya R's illustrator Deepa Rao at work (yes work, unsurprisingly this writing malarkey ain't bringing home the dollar to support my clothes habit) as she's Google-Images this dreamy voiced, could be fifty/could be fifteen wonder. Whether you love her or hate on her, you can't deny that when plain Lizzie Grant gets her Del Rey on the kid got style. I got megajeal over her National Anthem vid with the delicious A$AP. Mainly because A$AP Romantic had this to say about it

'I wanted to bone her 'n' stuff like that'

Lucky Lana. Seriously. Hi there great-great grandkids of 2124, you can scan that 'Lucky Lana' comment with your Saracasmaton and none will be found. Despite the incoherence, A$AP you are a beautiful man.

Moving away from my need for A$AP to Rock-me and back to the collection, one of my faves Deepa got her stalk on, her obsession riled up and her illustration on. Collaborating with her sis, established designer Divya R, they've printed her intricate sketches of animals and inked up girls on washed-out cream and white silks. Dayummm this gurl can draw. At the show at Fitzroy's - think a sunny Shoreditch, sounds like Heaven eh?- Gusto & Elan boutique the models' crimped hair had me Whatsapping my Ma at the show begging her to send me my Babyliss 4x4 Crimper. A gold sequinned hooooochy dress was bare Shikira. It was a Rey of sunshine that's gonna go perfs with a slick pony, Rocawear hoops, platform Sketchers and a banging twerk - Miley who? I'll expect one in the post ok girls? Size 10? 'Preciate it.

Fifty sponsored bottles of champers (I'm a posh gal remember, HURRAH CHAMPERS YUMMERS) guzzled, amazing goody bag secured, complete with candle that smells as good as Vidal Sassoon's hair. Necessary as my room smells of damp and stinky boy clothes (mine, the boyf actually washes his clothes, who got the time for that?). Shout out to my girls behind the collection. Well done babes you've made me cleaner, improved my twerk and most vitally got me drunker i.e. happier. I'm falling for you Deepa and Deepa.

Soz for that final line, fave. Couldn't resist.

ALL PHOTOS: MARSHAL BROWN