Spring 2013 Couture: Jean Paul Gaultier

I thought I'd continue on with the latest collections; the next from Resort 2014. However I looked at Oscar de la Renta and Bottega Veneta and, sorry, but am I missing something? Have we just declared a world war? Get your ration books out everyone and start hoarding your clothes 'cause it looks like both Oscar (who's final looks, with their elegance and drama, ALWAYS get me horny) and Tomas Maier (who's leather work always leaves me drooling - where are the bags I need?) are expecting a mass loss of dyes, fabric and happiness. These collections seem unnecessarily austere (apart from Oscar's giant bubblegum finale dress in his trademark fuschia, a piece of which everyone has surely wanted since Alexandr Petrovsky bought Carrie Bradshaw that Spring 2004 dress from his 'old friend Oscar' and we all decided we would put up with grouchy ole Petrovsky's wrinkles, no matter where they were or what they were touching, for that dress... No? Just me then?)

This ain't for me so I'm going to chat about Spring 2013's couture offerings YAY; what we really should be wearing whilst the world's still got sun, health and colour (I'm one of those optimistic people who, if I knew me, I'd wanna hit me). Oscar and Tomas can Dig For Victory; I'm digging through Jean Paul Gaultier's imagination.

It could not be futher removed; where Oscar would have us eatin our animals for substinance, JPG wants us coating them in gold and wearing them. Suddenly a gold python coat seems like a necessity. Frivolous? Yes. What fashion should be? Definitely. There's no sign of scrimping and saving, we KNOW there's a recession blah we knowwww, but stalking couture should give us one moment we don't have to think about that. It's pure fantasy. Though critics have derided the collections as being totes 'Real Housewives of Mumbai', I reckon JPG's just doing the travelling you can't afford to do. Rather than being inspired by the rich colours of the spices in Marrakesh market, or the batik-dyed fabric of the Maasai Mara tribe, or... PIPE DOWN WE'VE SEEN IT ALL BEFORE. Instead of seeing 'beauty in poverty' as designers expect us to believe they have season after season in a spiel of bullshit about a country they don't even have time to go to, Gaultier's perving on the wealthy women of these countries. Hello, their bazzilionaire pigs-in-muck(oil) hubbies are the only peeps who can afford to buy couture anyhoo. 

I'm going to stop stalking the #RichKidsOfInstagram. #RichKidsOfUzbekistan is clearly where it's at.

MdV x

 

 

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