Resort 2014: Clover Canyon

Like last season, designer Rozae Nichols owes everything in this collection to Mary Katrantzou. These digital prints and patterns have been done to death, not by our Mary; she keeps getting better and better - follow her on Instagram, she seems like a lovely lady -  but by the high street. Hey I still like it. It's obnoxious and I. Like. It. The brattish chain-smoking and smokin' hot grandma on the front of one of the collection's tees is everything I hope to grow up to be; Head to toe Hermès (hey this is my fantasy) and using the guise of frail old lady to outsmart everyone who crosses her path, including Cancer.

I like the two suits at the end. Note use of the word 'like' not 'love'. They are fine. This is worse than me hating them. If someone told you 'that was fine' after you'd given them all yo' best moves all night long babayyyy, you'd probs slit your wrists. Hate implies passion, indifference means boredom. The patterned tracky at the beginning is bare Jeremy Scott x Adidas Originals. It's exactly like his winged hoody that has been seen on everyone, apart from Mr Bitter over here, but without the monster face and gnashers that make it AMAZING. Oh well everyone loves a flatform sandal; at least they got good shoes on. This is depressing, pass me a glass of Rozae.

MdV x

ALL PHOTOS: STYLE.COM